Repost: The Essential Guide to Praying in a Circle

Still plugging away on the special project. Here’s another of my most popular posts.

_________________

Here‘s the original post. You can check it out or just keep reading.

Last post, I shared one of my many embarrassing prayer stories. It was basically an example of what not to do. Today, I want to be more helpful. I’ll give you a step-by-step guide to the most important type of public prayer: the group circle.

Basics

The hallmark of prayer circles is informality. A group of people–usually guys–gather around and pray before an event. This informality causes the awkwardness. Prayer circles can splinter any number of directions, depending on who’s in charge and what method they’re using.

I’ve assembled a list of simple rules for dealing with each of these methods.

Method 1: Everyone prays in a clockwise1 circle.

This is the best idea. Do what you can to make this happen. You may be skeptical, because it guarantees that you’ll pray. But the benefits are myriad:

  • The order is set.
  • There’s no wondering about the right time to jump in.
  • You only need to make one decision: the person who starts.

And it’s so easy to initiate it: just suggest it when everyone is gathering hand to shoulder.

But Method 1 might not work–the group gathers too fast, the youth leader suggests something else, the words catch in your throat. Or you could be like me and stand, mouth slack, unsure whether to murmur your idea as the circle starts.

In that case, you may have to follow the directions for Method 2.

Method 2: Open Prayer with a Closer

At first, this seems great–what could be more freeing than only praying if you want to? But I don’t recommend it because of the hazards:

  • Besides picking someone to lead, you need to pick someone to close. Otherwise there’s an awkward silence the two minutes after the last prayer until everyone realizes it’s over.
  • There’s a risk that everyone except you will pray. Avoid this. And also avoid being the last guy to pray before the closer–they look timid. Instead, if it looks like everyone is choosing to pray, jump in well before the end.

Sometimes, you’ll be in a situation where the circle leader doesn’t assign any roles, and the circle begins without any direction.

In that case:

Method 3: No Clear Plan

We’ve all been there. The group has barely gathered into a circle, and the leader dives into the prayer. The rest of the guys dart their eyes looking for cues to begin, forcing a smile to hide their held breath.

Don’t panic. Look to the guy to the leader’s left. He’s the key to the circle.

If he prays next, everything is great. Assume it’s a clockwise circle and go from there. If he doesn’t pray next, things are tougher. Assume it’s open prayer, but be careful–you might become the closer on accident.

If you are directly to the left of the leader, your role is clear–pray next. Everyone will thank you.

Final scenario. The circle leader does assign roles, and you’re the closer. What now?

Method 4: The Closer

If you’re praying in a clockwise circle, the closer’s role is easy. All you have to do is say “amen” with a little extra force.

But if people are praying out of order, closing gets tricky.

Say it’s a group of eight people. The fifth person finishes praying, and a silence falls over the group. How long should you wait before you close?

Better to close too early than too late. A five-beat count is probably best. Basically, you want to start praying just before the moment when heads start raising and the quiet people start blushing.

Also, make it clear to everyone that you’re the last one. Throw in a “in closing” or something. Then everyone else can relax.

There you have it: the essential steps to praying in a circle.

But that’s not all! I also have a serious conclusion.

A Serious Conclusion

Remember a couple things. First: nobody is listening to your prayers as closely as you think. When is the last time you remembered someone else’s prayer even thirty seconds afterward? That’s how everyone else feels about you.

But more fundamentally (and this is easy for us neurotics to forget): the point of the prayer should not be about making yourself look good. Get that, and the rest becomes easier.

Any other thoughts about praying in circles? Or are there any Australians who want an apology?

__________________________

1  Our Australian friends, of course, will pray counterclockwise. But seriously, specify direction. Otherwise the guys on the leader’s right and left will look at each other after the leader’s prayer, and it gets awkward.

Photo credit: John Locher

What I Missed About Prayer

In my “Neurotic’s Guide to Prayer,” I’ve compared public prayer to getting naked at the YMCA, complained about guitar players in prayer circles, and opened a window to my scatterbrained devotions. In this last post in the series, it’s time to pick up my towel and cover my shame. I also want to pick up a thread that was hopefully running through my posts–prayer doesn’t all depend on you.

I already said that most everybody feels just as nervous about public prayer as I do. I didn’t realize this because of some Sherlock Holmes deduction. I was at a prayer group recently with some other guys. One of them, Evan, had just become a Christian that past year. He was still learning the eccentricities of the faith that I didn’t even realize were eccentricities. He would ask what “quiet time” was, and what we meant by controlling our “thought lives.” Continue reading “What I Missed About Prayer”

Quiet Time: A Running Diary

My last couple posts have been about public prayer. It’s easy to see why my fellow neurotics feel self-conscious praying in front of other people–it doesn’t take much imagination to assume everyone is scrutinizing us.

But that doesn’t explain why I feel self-conscious about quiet time.

For those not in the know, “quiet time” is just daily Bible-reading and private prayer. Because there aren’t other people around, you’d think I’d be able to pray in peace.

I can’t. I’m really bad at it.

Continue reading “Quiet Time: A Running Diary”

The Essential Guide to Praying in a Circle

JOHN LOCHER/REVIEW-JOURNAL UNLV football players hold hands during a prayer circle after practice in Ely Nev. Aug. 13, 2007.

Last post, I shared one of my many embarrassing prayer stories. It was basically an example of what not to do. Today, I want to be more helpful. I’ll give you a step-by-step guide to the most important type of public prayer: the group circle.

 

Basics

The hallmark of prayer circles is informality. A group of people–usually guys–gather around and pray before an event. This informality causes the awkwardness. Prayer circles can splinter any number of directions, depending on who’s in charge and what method they’re using.

I’ve assembled a list of simple rules for dealing with each of these methods. Continue reading “The Essential Guide to Praying in a Circle”

How to Impress Girls by Praying Around a Campfire

In my last post, I tried opening my prayer series with encouragement. Even though public prayer is intimidating, we’re all in this together. But even if most of us feel nervous, there are still stakes–especially if you’re a dude in your teens or twenties. If you want to impress that girl at your youth group, public prayer may be an essential skill.

For evangelicals, public, spontaneous prayer is our gauge of each other’s religious virility. Prayer not only shows our passion for God, but also our willingness to be a “leader of our generation.” It’s an essential skill for any mega-church pastor.

It’s also a good way for teenage boys to impress girls. Continue reading “How to Impress Girls by Praying Around a Campfire”

Why Public Prayer Is Like a YMCA Locker Room

locker_room_google_0151I’m bad at prayer.

This sounds like an intimate confession, but it’s not. You probably feel the same anxieties I do—especially when praying in front of other people. That’s why I’m starting this short series on prayer.

When my Bible study leader asks for volunteers to pray, the signs of prayer fright are everywhere. The stifled gulps, the averted eyes, the tensed posture.

And it’s not just at Bible studies. Prayer fright can happen anywhere:

Continue reading “Why Public Prayer Is Like a YMCA Locker Room”